Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Shit My Mom Says

Seriously Shawn

It's Tuesday and I have been waiting patiently to post this one with Shawn & Impulsive Addict's fun Tuesday meme.   Today, for Talk to Us Tuesday, I'm gonna tell you a little about my mom and my aunt...and the unbelievable things that came out of their mouths while in New York a few weeks ago.

Let me introduce you to Barbara & Beverly.
2 sisters - very much alike - that tend to say exactly what is on their minds.

no filters.

we call it the "B" factor - and as my uncle says, that doesn't stand for "Beck" (their maiden name).
Their mother is the Queen of Snarky - although if you aren't trying to be hurtful, just saying what you are thinking, does that count as being snarky?
Regardless, my sweet Cousin and I had a field day.

It started as we headed out one evening - it was raining.  I said something about how I loved the rain....

my mom comes out with, "well, your hair doesn't"

"wow, I didn't realize my grandma was on the trip."

and the fun began
Taxi conversations ranged from eating cold breakfast tacos on the plane to having diarrhea on the plane due to said taco.  To "where are my glasses" "On top of your head, mom".  To, ""Do you think he knows where he is going?"  Our driver was snikering in the front.
Give one glass of wine to Aunt Bev and she can't answer the door because she's "naked." And then asking her daughter if she had ever seen a wasabi pee?  get it?  hee hee......ok we thought it was a riot.
But I guess that is better than when her daughter yells out to her while walking down the street that she has a "quad butt". "Mom, your panties are rolling down your butt."
They both tend to say things the wrong way...which only leads them to be made fun of.

My mom likes to "call them up online" when she wants to talk to some one - it's much faster than using the phone.
And she was very excited to get a Starbucks "ticket" for coffee - mom, that's called a gift.card.
For the life of her, she couldn't say "Waldorf" - Waldoffy, Waltdorf, Walldoff - whatever Becca - you know what I mean.

My mom likes Nachos...you know that Spanish style ones with beef and a tortilla on each side.  It kinda tastes like a taco.  HUH?  What the hell did you eat?
And man, give these ladies a strawberry basil martini and they are all of a sudden telling me, "oh honey, you have to suck it up first". Um, no comment.

"If you see our waiter, will you start bitchin at him please?"  Cause that will give us faster service.
My favorite is when they asked me not to tweet any of this stupid shit.  well, atleast they admitted it was stupid.....

And did you notice one similarity in all of these pictures??? They were always on their phones!!!!

This is probably one of those, "you had to have been there to see the humor" posts.  But honestly, these two bring the worst out in each other and we always end up having so much fun.

Case in point.  This is a video, accidently shot by my mom.  

I rest my case.

*** What this post doesn't show is how very loving and wonderful these two women are.  Both have encouraged and shaped me to the woman I am today.  I love you both to pieces!! Thanks for entertaining us so very well!!!


Myya said...

First of all what great genes you have in your family. Beautiful ladies!!!

I loved this & honestly it wasn't one of those had to be there posts because my mom is just like this. As I tell her all the time... Mom, shit just falls out of your mouth. It is fun having someone around more clueless then me so that I can pounce of being the smart ass to make fun. LOL

Sounds like a fantastic trip!!!

Impulsive Addict said...

Ok, this is some funny shit, Becca! They are hysterical! QUAD BUTT?!?! Bwhahahahahah!

Give me a hint on the wasabi pee bit. I've had some Captain and I can't think straight right now. And I have to pee. Probably because you brought it up.

That video was great! And you looked so pretty! Don't you love when technology baffles our parents? It will be us one day. =(

My trip ends tomorrow. I'm sad but we've had a blast. I can't wait for MAY!

Thanks for linking up with us!

Shawn said...

I try so hard not to make fun of my Mom when she can't wrap her head around something, then I remember that's she almost 73...I hope I'm half as cool as her when I'm that age!

Maybe that's where you et your snarkyness from?

Thanks for linking up friend!

Date Girl said...

lol, I LOVE it. "Well your hair doesn't." So funny. I can relate after one glass of wine, I tend to think I'm nekkid. Glad you had fun with your family. Sounds like a blast!

Anonymous said...

LOL wine makes everyone more fun. My sister and I know that if we need to break news to my mom, wait until 9 PM at night after she's had a few. ;)

Connie said...

I think I'm going to be just like your Mom when I grow up!

What were they looking at on their phones?

Kelli said...

They sound fun! I'm sure they made your trip that much more interesting :)

VandyJ said...

Technology already baffles me, so I have sympathy for your mom.
Great video!

sarajo said...

So when my husband's aunt gets really tired, she starts making up words. And then has no memory of it. It's too funny!

What a fun trip! Even better with the S!it your mom says!

Amber said...

Sounds like they make for great travelling companions!

It also sounds like when I hang out with my best friends, we tend to say and do really, really dumb things. :)

Anonymous said...

LOL love the quad butt!
Your mom and aunt rocks!

MiMi said...

Wow. We must be sisters...cuz my mom is exactly like that.
Kinda scary. LOL

Vivienne @ the V Spot said...

Hilarious!!!! So, so, so funny! I love the video. :)

Anonymous said...

I clearly belong to this family--Boobies..coincidence? I think not!

HILARIOUS! And the video is priceless!

Also, I'm convinced your whole family was manufactured in a lab. HAWT!

Stacie said...

"Call them up online" made me LOL!! So sounds like something my Mom would say!

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