Sunday, January 22, 2012

Kairos Time

I just finished 2 hours of science-project-hell.  I call it hell because that's what it is.  As much as I try to let my darling daughter do it all herself, momma bear kicks in to "advise" her.  Maybe we should put a border on each title?  Now how would you be able to explain that to a judge? NO! It's not pronounced nora-friend!! It's norepinephrine!!!

And now it's done, and Sis is proud and I'm a bundle of nerves after trying to not be that parent that controls the entire project.  Ugh.  I hate that part of my personality.  

And it reminds me of the Huffington Post article by Glennon Melton that circulated the Facebook this past week.  You know, the one about why Carpe Diem is a load of crap to a parent...until the kids have grown up.  If you haven't read it - please do - It really is fantastic.  I'll wait here for you.  

Back, already?

When I read it, I nodded my head, saying, she's right - remember and cherish all the wonderful memories you have of parenting.  Don't sweat the spilled milk, having to discipline your son repeatedly for his bus behavior, or getting frustrated over your 2 year old's meltdowns at HEB.  I need to apply this everyday.  Here is what she wrote that struck a chord in me:

There are two different types of time. Chronos time is what we live in. It's regular time, it's one minute at a time, it's staring down the clock till bedtime time, it's ten excruciating minutes in the Target line time, it's four screaming minutes in time out time, it's two hours till daddy gets home time. Chronos is the hard, slow passing time we parents often live in.
Then there's Kairos time. Kairos is God's time. It's time outside of time. It's metaphysical time. It's those magical moments in which time stands still. I have a few of those moments each day. And I cherish them.
There are days in my life that are filled with Chronos time.  Those are the days that I stare at the clock, willing it to be one for Bubba's nap. When will Matt get home?  How many more days until Book/Wine club??  And I always lay in bed at night after days like these regretting everything I said - why did I waste my day with negative energy - am I fit to be at home all day with Bubba?
The only way I can chase out those "bad-mommy" feelings is to think of my Kairos time.  And I can think of a ton of those.  It's the sweet smell of all my babies' hair.  It's the belly-laughs at the dinner table over Brody's jokes.  It's the never-ending summer days at the beach, reading chapter books in bed,  selling girl scout cookies with Sis, playing Wii together as a family, beaming crazy with pride over a soccer goal.  Those are the moments I will remember when I am old and look back on my parenting years.  
It's Kairos time I need to remember when I begin to sink in that Science-project-hell again - the one-on-one time I get with my daughter, the exclamation of surprise when she tells me, "That's really cool- I never knew that it could be interesting!"  And the pride she has over a job well done.  
The past few weeks, I have been taking the time to really play with Bubba.  No, not I'll check Twitter while you play Thomas -play, but getting down and building a track for him, climbing in tunnels with him, chasing him around the back yard.  You know, Kairos time.  It has really been special for him and I .  (I know this is nothing new for all you fantastical-Moms out there - but I have to physically turn the social media off to truly concentrate 100% on him.)  
Rather than remember the frustration of the past 2 hours, I am going to remember all the fun we had earlier today geo-caching and eating burgers with my mom & dad.  
Wow - looky there, more Kairos time.


Angie said...

This post is beautiful! I took a lot from it just reading it. I've totally got to remember this!

Rhonda said...

Way to go! I think it is so important to unplug and spend that time with your kids every now and then...daily is ideal. The internet is not going anywhere, but our kids grow up too fast!

Yay for Kairos time! Can't wait to hear aobut your geo-caching!

MiMi said...

I'm with the other girls! A great post and one I understand all too well.

Stacy G said...

You said that beautifully! I'm still tearing up...I really needed to read that after a challenging parenting of teens weekend!:)

Connie Weiss said...

I need more Kairos time and less twitter time!

Thanks for this Becca.

Connie said...


Does my email show up now?

Blogger may be having issues....what's new.

The Bipolar Diva said...

Hi there! I found you from linking from a blog, to a blog and then to yours. When I saw "Texas" I had to follow. I'm a native living in the Pacific Northwest now. But once a Texan, always a Texan. All of my cars have Texas covers on the trailer hitches. As for Carpe diem,After raising 8 kids, my youngest is 13 and my oldest two are 29, I learned to do that when the oldest were old enough to babysit. Although I do still try to cherish every, almost, day with the kids and especially my grand kids. But my me time and seizing the day are what keep me sane. I'm following you now and look forward to more great posts!

Kelli said...

Yes! Amen! Right on!

Emmy said...

No you are not alone- as much as I love my iPhone, sometimes I wish I didn't have it- as yes, it is with me way too much and then I am not really there. Thank you for this.

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